I’ve belonged to various D/FW gyms for probably 15 years. Everything
from Fitness Factory, Gold’s, the YMCA, 24 Hour Fitness and others. I
currently I work out at LA Fitness on Preston Road but I’ve been trying
out new gyms to see if I want to change or at least keep two for a
while. After checking out various gyms around the city, I’ve decided to
come up with a list of “recommendations” that might help those of us
who don’t know any better.
1) Don’t ever wear perfume to a gym. No one wants to run on a
treadmill and inhale the smell of sweat and J-Lo Perfume. If you are
self conscious about your B.O. take a shower.
2) Don’t talk on a phone - and never Bluetooth - anywhere in the
gym. You are a major tool if you talk on your phone while walking.
Unless you have M.D. after your name and you are on-call, then no phone
for you. Run dammit. Because if you can talk while on a treadmill, you
are just wasting electricity because you aren’t working hard enough.
3) Don’t wear your giant engagement ring your Sugar Daddy just
bought you with your perfectly quaffed hair, full makeup, matching
sweat suit, spotless shoes, Mercedes key fob, and iPhone you don’t know
how to use. We know you are in the gym to keep in shape to justify that
giant ring, and to maintain your Trophy Wife status. You don’t need the
giant ring to tell us that.
4) Unload the damn weights off the bars when you are done. If you
are strong enough to lift the bar with the weights, you are clearly
strong enough to remove each individual plate. Second, you aren’t
impressing the next person who comes along and sees a bunch of 45s on
the calf machine. Big whoop. Your calves still look anemic. Get
implants.
5) Don’t leave puddles of sweat all over the bikes and treadmills. I
know some people think gyms have employees whose primary responsibility
is to clean up after you like your mother, but really, that’s not the
case. If it were, I’ll happily pee in the pool (they have chemicals to
clean that up), leave my towels all over the gym floor (they have
people for that), and never un-rack my weights (they have trainers for
that).
6) Don’t use the gym as your Meat Market. Go to a bar but first, pop
your collar before you go or wear a boys medium printed t-shirt.
7) Don’t move in. You’ve all seen the guy who brings a giant gym
back, phone, iPod, workout log, a magazine, a Red Bull, giant Jug O’
Water. Dude, you are here for what, an hour? You don’t live here. Move
your crap into a locker.
Don’t sit on a machine between sets. Seriously, do you not see that the
gym is packed and there are people milling around? I know the machine
has a seat, but between sets, get up and let people it between your
sets. It is called, “working in.”
9) Don’t keep looking in the mirror and flexing as you walk by. Wait
until you get home. Also, stop trying to take pictures of yourself with
your cell phone camera in the mirror. You are not fooling anyone.
10) Just because you work at a gym, doesn’t make you cool. You work at a “gym” so drop the attitude!
Thank You!!